Maybe we could lock up all the men until we figure out wtf is going on?
This week, I tried to gather the recent stories of femicide and was overwhelmed. I have something really important, and lengthy, to say about the Black women being killed by their spouses - and the dickhead men defending them but that will come after I have my emotions in control. Read this quick article to get a baseline understanding of the problem.
Five essential facts to know about femicide
November 2025
Before I even get started on the femicide… I want to talk about demanding "proof" as a form of white supremacy.
I don't have a lot of time right now bc it’s 5pm and dance starts in an hour but prob won't have the mind to do it after today (bc no meds) so hopefully this makes sense. The way some of yall act like wypipo and overseers when it comes to other Black ppl, eeeeyyuuuuck!
We all understand the carceral system is built on capitalism, white supremacy, sexism, and a host of other -phobias We know the system is bad when our loved ones are caught up in it ... but as soon as the tables are turned, yall mfs turn into the feds! We all know we give people we like/love more country for mistakes and forgiveness. That's human nature.
It's also been pointed out that jumping up to defend a MAN is a bad idea! Online or in person, it do not matter…
In the panny, all of us with commom sense, agreed we don't need to wait for details - impact over intention when harm is involved. We called them Karens... but consistently when a Black woman is involved, we need all the details? We need to differentiate between the type of predator. I call bullshit!
Know how the news pulls the life story of the victim & spins the narrative to influence popular opinion? I remember how much we hated that... we made hashtags!
Recently I watched mfs do that exact same thing to a Black woman and try to spin it as her being more dangerous than the 'predator'. Like, did you mfs learn nothing?? Some folks even had the audacity to say "This is why women aren't believed". Oh? Cuz even the women who do have proof are not believed and you know this!
Which brings me to the thing that's been bothering for a couple days now...
Exactly what kind of proof should a victim be able to provide to be believed? Who do they need to give the proof to? Who determines if she is justified in feeling abused? Should they not consider other victims involved when making decisions about telling their story?
Has patriarchy not stained every inch of the female experience? Who or what made your friend above the rules? When we defend predators, they only get stronger... Exactly who are we helping or protecting by upholding white supremacy when there ain't even no wypipo present?
Then, they dogpiled, calling her poor - which shows it was never about 'proof'. And this is so much bigger than that specific incident, just using it as an example. Its ok to bash men endlessly, just not the men you like? Tale old as time.
We talk about how patriarchy got men in a chokehold but gotdamn Black women of a certain age really embarrass me sometimes!
Accountability is about love. When I say I do everything for Black women, I mean that shit. I need us to stop coddling men, it's not helping them. It's also killing us.
If you feel the issue is not close enough to home for it to matter to you. You sound like dawhytes.
If you think it’s not affecting anyone you know personally. You must be marked as an unsafe man or a pick me ass bitch.
If you think women aren't believed bc they refuse to share every single detail of their traum.? No, the system is working effectively, and you're the present example
We will all never agree on everything. And that's ok, being Black isn't a monolith. Some of yall be so proud to not have lived traumatic lives (as you should!) but you never think to extend empathy bc you haven't live traumatic lives. You never think what the person who did has had to overcome - yall forget we didn't all start from the same point
Some of us still live on ancestral land. Some of us have never lived anywhere longer than a year at a time until we were adults.
That's two completely different experiences. We're not starting from the same point.
Some of us had parents who loved us and did everything to make sure we had opportunities they never did. Some us don't know who our parents are. Some of our parents were drug addicts. Those are all different starting points.
Some of us barely graduated high school. Some of us have a Phd. Some of us had to dropout & never got our GED. The country as a whole reads on a 6th grade level. Those are all different starting points.
I know we're all focked up after the panny & now this administration wants to kill everyone.
Don't do their job for them!! We had them bitches on their knees in 2020! But they were able to divide and conquer by class with them stimmy checks smh
And just like eras of the past, the rich keep getting richer by convincing the people to fight amongst each other instead of fighting them.
I get it, we're scared. We don't have enough money, weapons, stamina, etc to beat the system...
That's a lie!
We keep thinking it needs to be some grand ass gesture when it's simple shit like NOT throwing someone under the bus for being poor simply bc we don't like their version of a story!
The way we change the world is by changing the way we show up in it every day, until we die. It's being intentional about offering care to those who are hurt without centering our own experiences.
The way to beat the system is community. We literally saw glimpses of that over the last 6yrs but yall had COVID 5 times so I imagine it’s hard to remember…
Reflections:
When was the last time you celebrated someone else's milestone?
Do you regularly ask for help when you need it? Why not?
Have you connected with anyone from a different background in the last decade? Outside of work?
Do you think you give others grace? Do you think you give yourself grace?
Again, accountability is about love. I love Black people more than anything. I want us to get on one accord. It's the only way we ever get anywhere
